The Basics
by Editor-Bug
Summary: It's about time Wendy taught Stan the basics of being a good boyfriend. ONE-SHOT! Read & review if you like! Rated T for some language.


It was pretty tough climbing up those rocks, but Wendy knew Stan would be up there. He was with his friends, throwing rocks at cars. Stan never asked her to go with them, that inconsiderate little shit.

And for the fourth time this week, Wendy was going to ask Stan out, and he was going to blow her off, claiming he was busy, and that would be that.

It was nothing new, but Wendy figured it was a little worth it to try every time, right?

Finally, she reached the top of the mountain. Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny were there, throwing away.

Wendy stepped right up to her "man". "Hi, Stan."

"Huh? Oh, hi, Wendy," said Stan as he flung another rock.

"Hi, Wendy," his three friends droned.

"Do you wanna go out with me later?"

"What?" Stan paused. "Like, a date?"

"Yeah, like a date."

"Mm..." Stan gripped his coat. "I can't, I've gotta, like...clean my room or something."

Wendy let out a huff. "Well, okay. See ya later."

"Bye."

After Wendy made her descent, the quartet kept on waiting for the cars to drive by.

"God fucking DAMMIT!" Cartman exclaimed as he missed a car. "One day, I _will_ hit that roofless sports car."

Kyle scoffed. "Yeah, no, you won't."

"Yeah, no, I WILL, KAHL!"

"Anyway," Kyle turned to Stan. "Dude, what's been up with your girlfriend lately? She keeps asking you to go out with her and crap."

"Yeah, why she so thirsty?" added Kenny.

"I don't know," Stan admitted. "Maybe it's just a girlfriend thing. I should ask Chef about it."

Cartman's head snapped towards Stan, and he looked dead serious. "DUDE."

"O-Oh, yeah...great, now I made myself sad."

Kyle walked over and put a hand on Stan's shoulder. "You know what cheers me up when I get sad? Throwing rocks at cars!"

The boys laughed and had a good time throwing rocks at cars for the rest of the day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Later, that night, Stan, Kyle and Cartman were walking home.

"Nice going hitting the Jeep, dumbass!" snapped Cartman.

"Yeah!" added Kyle. "Dude, it's your fault those crab people killed Kenny!"

"I know," sighed Stan. "I just feel a little out of it. I'll see you guys tomorrow, okay?"

As the group parted ways, Stan could still hear Cartman muttering to Kyle.

"Those crab bastards are damn lucky the police took care of them, or I would have really let them have it."

"Sure..."

Stan pulled down his cap, then stuck his hands into his pockets.

"Aw, come on," he muttered as it began to drizzle.

Passing a Red Lobster, he spotted someone familiar from out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh, no..."

Wendy was sitting there alone at a table, looking sad. Stan looked down at his clothes. He was soaking and dirty; he didn't want to show up to Wendy looking like that. But he couldn't just leave her there either.  
He gathered up his courage, took a deep breath, and headed inside.

Once inside, Stan noticed that Wendy was wearing a pretty lavender dress.

 _Oh, jeez._

"Can I have a doggy bag, please?" he asked the host, and he received one. He tucked the bag in his pocket and made his way to Wendy.

"Hi, Wendy," waved Stan, sitting across from her.

Wendy looked down at the table, her hair concealing her face. "Oh. *sniff* Hi, Stan."

"Are you crying?"

She wiped her face. "No."

"Oh..."

They sat in silence for a bit, and Wendy collected herself.

"Stan, do you like me?"

"What?"

"Do you like me?"

"I-I mean, of course I do."

"Then how come you never want to do anything with me?"

Stan tugged at the tablecloth. "I dunno, it's just weird to hang out with a girl..."

"Come on, Stan," Wendy crossed her arms. "Don't act like all the other boys. I know you're not like that."

"No, really! I mean, girls get all mad if you don't say the right thing to them. It makes them kind of hard to be around sometimes."

"But I'm not just any girl!" yelled Wendy, proving Stan's point. "I am your girlfriend! Do you even realize what that means?"

"Sure I do!" defended Stan. He reached across the table and put his hand on Wendy's, and she sniffled once more. "Wendy, I really like you! And this may come as a shock to you...but you're the only girlfriend I've ever had."

"...o-oh. That's...really surprising."

"I know, crazy. Sooo, I've had, like, ZERO experience as a boyfriend."

Wendy failed to prevent a smile from creeping onto her face. Stan was a babe in the woods. Like a deer, in the headlights of love. It wasn't that he didn't like her, he was just afraid of screwing up.

"Okay, so, do you want me to teach you how to be a good BF?"

"'BF', what's a 'BF'?"

"Boyfriend."

"Oh. Then, yes. If that's what it takes."

"Okay, first things first. Say something nice about me."

Stan could think of a million nice things about Wendy. It was actually saying them that was hard. He could never tell what was going to make girls mad.

"Uh, can you go first? Just so I can get an idea of what I'm supposed to say?"

"That's not really how it works, Stan...but okay," Wendy shrugged. "I think you're cute, Stan."

Stan felt his cheeks heat up. "You do? Y-You think I'm cute?"

Wendy nodded. "Of course!"

"Oh, well...I think _you're_ cute, Wendy..."

Wendy motioned for him to keep going.

"...uh, the cutest girl in the whole school."

Wendy moved her hands up and apart.

"In all of South Park?"

Wendy gave a thumbs-up.

"Yes!" cheered Stan. "I nailed it! Wow, I never thought it'd feel so good to say something nice to somebody!"

"That's great!" Wendy grinned. "That's how you're supposed to feel when you, the boyfriend, compliment me, the girlfriend."

"Cool, what's next?"

"We should kiss!" Wendy said eagerly.

Stan threw up into his bag. "I mean, we should?"

"Don't lose your confidence now!" cautioned Wendy. "This is, like, the most important part!"

"I know..." replied Stan, rubbing his stomach.

"...okay. How about we hold hands first?" encouraged Wendy. "You can do that, right?"

Stan took her outstretched hand. "Yeah, that's fine. I like this."

"Hug?"

They got up from their chairs and hugged tightly.

"How are you feeling, Stan?" Wendy gently said to him.

"I'm...alright. I'm good!"

They slowly pulled out of the hug and looked each other in the eyes.

"I love you, Stan," Wendy said out of the blue.

Stan perked up. He noticed Wendy had tilted her chin down and was gazing up at him, a look she gave him when she expected him to say something. "I...love you, too, Wendy."

Wendy squealed with joy and hugged Stan again. "You did it!"

Stan was surprised at first, but he hugged her back. "I did it..."

"So..." Wendy still held Stan by the shoulders. "How about we kiss now?"

Stan vomited on the floor.

XXXXXXXLATERXXXXXXX

Unfortunately, barfing on the floor of the Red Lobster got the couple kicked out.

Wendy told Stan that it was his duty to make sure she got home safe. And he even got the cue to put his coat around her. He wanted it back once they got to her house, though.

"You know, I had a pretty good time on that date," Stan said putting his coat back on. "When can we do it again?"

"How about tomorrow night?" Wendy suggested.

"...oh. Uh, I'm busy, I think..."

Wendy rolled her eyes and grabbed the doorknob. "Let's shoot for next month, then."

She was completely caught off guard when Stan kissed her. (yes, on the mouth)

Stan backed up, looking startled himself.

"...it's a date."

Then he ran off home, probably because he still had to throw up after that. Wendy stood on her porch, stunned a bit longer, then hurried inside, and up to her room, grinning ear to ear.

Being honest, Wendy knew that by no means was Stan the "ideal boyfriend". But he was trying (and failing) his damnedest to be that.

* * *

(A/N: Was this good? Bad? Just okay? I'm not sure myself? Usually I have a solid opinion on what I write, but...! This is improvement, I guess. I just gotta be like Stan and take baby steps!

Please inform me of any mistakes I may have made! I read this over a lot, but I still might've missed something, and I think I'll delete the document soon, sooo

Well, please review, fave, follow, check out my profile and I shall see you next time! Au revoir!)


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